Emma is winning at getting me to post twice in one day, but MAN is this Eventing Bingo challenge one and a freaking half. I mean, damn! My cards are not smiling upon me for likelihood. But since my bingo entry is allowed to be a work of fiction…
It was a bad day — awful day, really. Just the worst day that anyone has ever had happen to them! And nobody knows more about bad days than me. First of all we were competing in heavy rain — an absolute deluge of rain. I haven’t seen rain like this in my entire life. There was so much rain everywhere, it probably broke the drought in California.
We went in to dressage and the judge — good guy, really. A great friend, just a real quality human being — gave me straight 6s across the board. Of course, this was enough to land us a score of 0%! Not that it was to anyone’s surprise, of course. Nobody knows more about dressage than me.
This amazing score was enough to land us in first place after dressage. In a huge class! There were hundreds of people there! Our show was going so well, right up until cross country. We got lost in the woods on course, and it took a whole search and rescue team to find us again. No joke! They were looking for us for weeks in there. Murray and I survived by foraging for nuts and berries, and eating a lot of grass and shrubbery. I never knew that humans could survive on shrubbery, but we can, and we did.
When we finally got back out of the woods, another show had conveniently started and we were just in time for the stadium rounds! The show officials decided that they would let me run stadium in this division since I never got to complete at the previous show, due to being lost in the woods for several weeks. I was feeling great, as good as you can after being lost in the woods for a few weeks. Murray, likewise, was full of sass. He was the sassiest he’s ever been! He was so sassy that I fell off in warm up.
Despite that, we went on to win our class. Because that’s what winners do. And we’re winners.
12 thoughts on “Eventing Bingo”
halfway through reading this, a big red baseball cap suddenly appeared atop my head – and my once reasonably red curls suddenly…. transformed into a cheeto-colored moebius strip – infinitely one dimensional while managing to defy all logic. clearly what we needed here was a GREAT WALL to protect you from those thugs, the woods (who we will, of course, make pay for said wall). it’ll be like nothing you’ve ever seen before, a beautiful thing, really. and nobody builds better walls than me! #MEB*GA
😂😍😂 I’m so glad you got it because I was afraid I’d gone way too far off the rails.
LOL seriously tho, ❤ this 😀
OMG I am dying!!! This is the greatest thing I’ve read all day! The greatest! No one is greater than you at writing bingo stories!
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Damn, you guys really are winners!
Hoping you will continue to repeatedly + inappropriately draw attention to this “monumental” victory long after anyone gives a damn. Apparently that’s what winners do these days. 😉😝
Oh my gosh, YES. That doesn’t sound like me at all.
I MEAN WE WON AFTER ALL.
Hahaha love this
This is the best thing ever hahaha
This is awesome!!
Ahahaha you guys are HUGE winners!