non-trainer approved moves

Ever find yourself doing something that your trainer just hates and yet somehow you’re doing it anyway?  Yeah me too.  Can’t seem to stop myself.  These are my top postural oddities, as explained by popular media.

 

Shoulder Lean
as imagined by Young Dro & DJ Drama

Let me see you bounce right and left and let your shoulder lean,
Let your shoulder lean, just let your shoulder leeeeaaaaannnn

This is one of my worst habits, to the point even when I’m not in a lesson and trainer sees me riding around I’ll hear “stop collapsing your right side” or “stop collapsing your left side!!!!!!!”  It’s bad.

If you photoshopped Murray under these rappers, that would be how I often look riding.

 

Brush Your Shoulder Off
Jay-Z

Jay-Z’s lyrics are not blog approppriate, so I’m not posting them.  This is how I look when I’m trying to straighten my shoulders and get myself aligned properly.  I’m all “whatever, body misalignment, let’s get on with this” while simultaneously ducking/shaking and checking on each shoulder.  Macklemore is really a better example of how I tend to look.

 

The Creep
as imagined by The Lonely Island

Well, we got a new dance so get up on your feet
It’s real easy to do, and it’s called ‘The Creep’
Let your hands flap around like a Marionette
Pop your knees up and down, sh-sh-shaking your neck

Context: whenever I try to sit the trot. ’nuff said.

Hips Don’t Lie
best performed by: Shakira

Wait this isn’t how you’re supposed to move when canter?

The Miley Cyrus
has anyone else considered how gross Robin Thicke’s name is?

I’m not sure where I developed the misguided notion that if I straightened my legs and snapped my back over fences that it was a good choice, but I am utterly resentful that when I do so there’s no Robin Thicke to back me up.  Oooorrr maybe I’m glad of that fact.  Not sure yet.