TOABH: Introspection

What would your horse change about you?

Hmmm, this is a good one. ¬†Considering that Sunday¬†after I told him he’s getting a pre-purchase exam¬†Murray fruck out and pinned me in the wash rack because I deigned to discipline him, I suspect he wants to change my intentions to buy him!

Just kidding. ¬†He doesn’t know what a pre-purchase exam is.

One thing¬†Murray would definitely change is my crookedness. ¬†Not that I’m a thief, but that I carry my body all wonky. ¬†Right hip forward, collapsed through the right ribcage, pinching with that right knee…. everything would be so much easier if I could just let that right side loosen up and behave like my left. ¬†Then¬†he wouldn’t have to be so crooked to compensate for me, probably!

IMG_0404What do you mean, crooked?

Along with this, he would lube up my elbows a good bit so I could follow his mouth more freely and in better balance.

Murray would also change my desires for him to be a clean, well-groomed (well, after the makeover that is) creature. ¬†He is not the world’s biggest fan of a long grooming session, and unless it doubles as massage, currying could probably just go away entirely. ¬†Mane pulling is tolerable, but only to a point, and he seems to rather like his long, luxurious locks.

The biggest thing, though, that Murray would change is my desire to do anything except what he wants to do — much like Carly’s Bobby. ¬†We would do nothing but gallop and jump shit and trail and gallop some more. ¬†There would be lots of cookies and carrots and hand grazing involved, and definitely none of this dressage bullshit, and certainly no pastes to be squirted in the mouth every day. ¬†I would never ask him to go to a jump he wasn’t expecting, unless it was a really cool one that he really wanted to jump, and I would never ask him to not fling his body about like an 80’s rocker for no reason. ¬†Which is, I guess, only fair. ¬†I would be an 80’s rocker too if I had the choice.